Miles: The Mind-game Magician

I’m going to blame daylight savings and a ridiculously long nap for this inability to sleep. I simply can’t give you credit for this, even though your name is shouting its symbols and sounds in my mind as I try to sleep. Its like a child trying to get attention in a crowded room; waiving, stomping, and crying it creates a scene. Is it possible to pacify thoughts?
I’d like for you to give me some space in my subconscious. You pop up in my mind during the day and you visit my thoughts at night. It’s really unfair to wake up without you when my mind swears you were just here.
I met a guy downtown yesterday. Guess what his name was? I wanted to punch him and kiss him all at the same time for making me think of you again. Your name has become a medicine and a snake bite to me. It comforts me when I feel claustrophobic but it chokes me when I venture into the unknown.
I miss you but it is getting a little out of hand. Miles, tell me how this happened. I don’t understand how you infiltrate the most guarded parts of my heart and mind. I gave up smoking so please stop following me before I start fuming.
I want so badly to sleep and dream of the future, not the past. Could you back away, hands up, for my sake? The side effects of sleepless nights don’t suit me very well. I’m starting to wonder who looks in the mirror for me in the morning. The face I meet seems worn and exhausted.
I turned off the radio as it played our song and I changed the channel as soon as that show came on. Metaphorically speaking, I’m building a fence and you can’t jump it anymore. No more tossing rocks at my window. It wakes me up when I want to be asleep and that makes me say bad words. Not to mention that fact that rocks tend to break windows and I have no intentions of repairing windows.
It’s been five days in a row now. I can’t shake the thought of you and trust me, I’ve tried. We haven’t spoken in nearly ten months but still you remain on my mind. Reason and clarity clearly abandoned me on this sideways journey.
Watching my favorite show that character comes on screen. He reminds me of your brother, who reminds me of you. Which reminds me of us and we aren’t a “we” anymore. I’m a “me” and you’re a “you”. I think I need to reestablish that.
I’m closing with this:
I chose you once, Miles, and I’d chose you if I had to do it all again. But now, I need to see my own path. The street names should now longer be, “Miles Street”, “Main Miles Street”, “First Miles Avenue”, or “St. Miles Boulevard”. I need to clear my head. Oh, side note, my path will be switching to measurements in kilometers. For obvious reasons.


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