Rummaging through the clouds I search for meaning.
I need answers and the earth is so barren these days. False hope has diluted the minds of the children and broken hearts have polluted the smiles of the elders.
Zeus must have left clues here.
I cry in a voice only deity could hear as I pull yet another cloud to inconclusive shreds.
“Why do we love?”
The very concept of love is ironic. We obsess over something that cripples us. We define our happiness by something that shatters us in the end. I wasn’t always like this, you know. I used to be a wide-eyed believer. I used to believe that love the the end-all, final score of life. Sure, I hadn’t been in love but lack of experience doesn’t blot out hopeful imagination.
Nothing.
I’m finding nothing.
I spent my whole life savings to make it this far.
After a failed attempt at love I couldn’t handle the questions my heart asked any longer. I needed answers, so that’s why I’m perusing through the heavens. I can’t go back to earth empty handed.
Breathless from my last cloud shredding, I sit on a star and think.
Is it possible to love without losing?
Sometimes our hearts want something that our reality isn’t ready for. Ever notice how moronic it is to hand a drunk person a glass? At what point do we acknowledge we don’t have the proper state of mind to care for such fragility. Perhaps my mind isn’t at the “Oz” part of the yellow brick road. I just can’t seem to understand love.
The star grows hotter beneath me as I realize I cannot afford to waste any more time. I climb higher into the sky and stumble across a supernova.
I remember learning about these in school. A supernova is basically a star that has collapsed within itself. It’s body becomes a coffin, how morbid. I turn away but am soon drawn back to the once glorious ball of light.
Love is like a supernova, it starts off beautiful. It illuminates your heart, it grants wishes and somehow that small speck of light begins to mean more to you than the moon itself. As time carries on, the star dims. You talk less, and the emotion changes. That star, that spark in your heart becomes faint. Desperation trying to fan the flames with promises you eventually have to accept that you can’t keep expect something to hang on for dear life when it already has it’s funeral arranged. Then that day comes,
“Goodbye.”
And the collapsing begins.
Your star not only fades from change, but explodes. Every smile, crumbles. Every laugh is carried away by the wind and amid the destruction you are forced to sit in the front row. Everything you built comes crashing down, once you rely on something it is hard to believe it could give out just like that. Light should never end, and neither should love. The sound is heart-wrenching. It is as if you can hear his voice say, “It’s my job to protect your heart.”, through the demolition. You scoff at the memory and try to speed the process along by cursing at the dying beauty that once captivated you.
Nothing seems right about love.
As I shake my head, a tear falls. And them it hits me.
This supernova is beautiful. The memories, the happiness and the pain, fell together and created this mosaic of emotion that is breathtaking. Somehow it took the scraps of a hopeful start and turned it into a true sight.
Then Zeus’ clue was found.
I was right, love hurts. It flies you through the sky but sends you into a tailspin when it encounters trial. Some fight for it and some don’t. But all along I had missed something. I had missed the beauty of the end.
Looking around the stars were stunning but what held my gaze was the deceased star. With its bright, fluorescent colors swirling around, it prove to be quite incredible. The blue, that was made from the tears. The purple, that was the pride of love. It can really get to you, you can develop a royalty complex when you feel as though your world is entirely in line. The green was the color of his eyes. The yellow was the laughter and the red was the pain. Separate from each other, each color told a different chapter of the same story. But the death of the star was what bound the book together. It became the spine.
Sure, love can completely reshape who we are, but is that always a bad thing? Yes, we lose love, but does that mean we not longer serve a purpose? Certainly not!
It is here, at the base of this supernova that I find what I needed.
Why do we love?
Because no one wants to leave this world unchanged.
Legends of Youth: 