Love Is Blind. And Invisible.

I tap my fingers on the cold surface of the table. This cafe is quiet. I realize I’m tapping my fingers to the beat of the song “Winter Winds”–I wonder why.
I see the door open through the reflection of the television that is painting a soap opera in front of me and my fingers stop. I know it’s you but I’m too nervous to turn around.
I bite the corner of my lower lip and smile. It is you. I can tell because I can smell you, that mixture of the night sky and deep woods. Just what I expected. I laugh under my breath and quickly fix my hair.
You walk closer but it seems like you are in slow motion. I watch you through the reflection once more but you are barely moving. What is happening? You finally reach me and I turn around. Your face? It’s blank, my love. I cannot see you and you are standing right in front of me. I reach out and touch you, the electricity between us is undeniable. You touch my hand and confirm my thoughts. You sit there, an almost invisible man. I know you are the one I have been waiting for, but you keep yourself from me. Why?



On The Corner

I met the man of my dreams on the corner of Youth and Love.
We drew on the sidewalk with chalk all day and we held hands that night until they went numb.
I remember he caught my eye on the newly paved corner of Unexpected and Breathless.
My eyes didn’t blink.
I accidentally walked right into him on the uneven Corner of First and Embarrassed.
I had no clue what I was supposed to say.
We flirted on the grassy corner of Delight and Laughter.
He still had me smiling for hours even after he had gone.
Argument #1 happened on the humid corner of Misunderstanding and Immaturity.
We were so young, we had to learn how to calm each other.
He showed me how much he really cared on the comfortable corner of Genuine and Heartfelt.
He made my heart and soul dance to this song he had written.
We are older now, and we have learned so much.
That damn corner of Struggle and Pain really did us in.
But we were tough. We held one another when we cried and we made it through.
He dropped to one knee on the stunning corner of Forever and Ever.
I cried and laughed and screamed those three letters.
We became eternally each other’s on the perfect corner of Fairytale and Unending.
I can look at him still today and feel that same way.
I see the man I saw on the corner of Youth and Love.
And we will build a home here on the unmovable corner of Eternity and Captivated.
Joy is a understatment at best.


Sense Doesn’t Make Any

Humans are perfect.

Do not shake your head quite yet, friend. Please, read on.

We are perfect when it comes to failing. We never get it right.

We are perfect when it comes to hurting those we love. We are selfish.

We are perfect at lying and breaking our word. We are tired of making an effort.

We are perfect at doing nothing at all. We believe things should come to us at our beckoning.

We are perfect when it comes to being blind. Again, we care far too much about ourselves.

Humans are flawed.

And now you are agreeing. You are one complicated person, my friend, but I’m right there with you.

We are flawed in the way we chose to love. We forget what love means.

We are flawed in the way we speak. We are ignorant.

We are flawed in our actions. We are impulsive and impatient.

We are flawed by those around us. We let them shape our individuality so that it matches theirs.

Being perfectly flawed in all of these things somehow makes us better. We cling to one another and suddenly all of our emotional wrinkles and sunspots fade away. We make each other ok. We learn to work against our perfectly flawed nature and we become great. We are not perfect by any means but we learn to love and this endeavor leads to perfect happiness.

Humans, how curious a creature…




The Corners of My Mouth

You see, my lips come together and form corners. They are a quiet part of me, and until now they always have been. They are lovely little corners but there seems to have been an occurrence: they have been stolen. Oddly enough, I no longer control them. You do. Whenever you are around these corners of my mouth rise and my lips play along.

I smile.

As you might have noticed, the corners of my mouth are shy. They hide every time I choose silence. They fear the harshness, like that of winter. They fear rejection and pain. Look at them, they are vulnerable and weak.  It takes some coaxing to get these corners to join in this song you’ve written but you seem to be an expert.

You come around and these corners respond at your commands. They rise and my lips play along.

I smile.

It is humorous how you are taking more and more of me. That is not a bad thing, in fact it is quite exciting. You stole my thoughts, my heart and now you own the corners of my mouth. You will in no time own my entirety and we will forever be together. These timid corners of my mouth are only the beginning of what you will leave your print on. And I cannot wait to see what our future will hold.


Et moi, oh, je suis un adversaire de taille. Avouez-le.

“And me, oh I am a worthy opponent. Admit it.”

Do you really think I am intimitdated by them? Sure, they have quite the advantage but the greatest tactics are those that come out of nowhere. They seem to have it all, and sadly I envy them for that. They have such abumdance in their own little world. Their expensive possesions, oh they may keep those. I have no interest in them. But this is one thing I cannot stand to see them have. It is rightfully mine and I am coming in a fury to retrieve it. As they sit in their piles of jewels, I will come out of nowhere and get what has been stolen from me.  Do they see what they have? Do they take their treasures for granted? These questions are why I must fight. I want this. I refuse to sit back any longer. My pride is on the line.My heart and head are both in this now so there is no turning back. I intend to come out on top.



The Death of “What If…”

I am taken away. I am brought to a place I have never seen. I finally have the courage to open my eyes and I see a dark cave surrounding me. In my hands I hold a golden lamp. How it got here, your guess is as good as mine.

I look down and squint at the shining gold and I see my perplexed reflection. Forward and backward. Forward and backward, I temp the fairytale I was told as a child as my hand moves along the curved side of the lamp. To my amazement something emerges from this lamp and it hovers before me.

I know what this–being is. It is a genie. Here to grant my wishes.

This massive grey creature bends down and asks, “Master, what do you wish?”

I realize now that my mouth has been dropped open, so I close it and stand to my feet. My hands shake so I push them into my pockets. I try to open my mouth again but it is so dry I simply close it and start to think. “A wish.”

“Master,” he politely yet somberly continued, “what do you wish?”

My mind, unlike my mouth, was not dry. My thoughts raced faster than my rapidly beating heart. I could wish for love. I could wish for success. I could wish for peace. Then I realize that surelyI have multiple wishes. Power returned to  me and I spoke, “I wish for true love, success and for my final wish I would like peace.”

The genie shook his head and spoke in his deep voice. The only way I can describe his booming voice was that it was grey. Deep and powerful yet not in a scary matter like that of black. He was calm and crisp with his words, “You have but one wish, Master.”

Puzzled, I looked into his eyes and said, “One?”

“Yes,” he replied, “I grant one wish and one wish alone.”

I asked no more of him. My mind took control. What would make my life better? What would bring me a good future?  What if I wished for prestige or power? What if I wished for wealth or fame?

“What if,”

I began to think, then it hit me.

“What if…”

This phrase causes wars. It causes heartache. “What if” makes children and parents alike fearful. These two small words cast a big shadow over us all. They confuse the mind and hurt the heart. It makes us uncertain and anxious. It eats at our thoughts and tries to tell us how to live. “What if” stands in our way and tells us that we cannot pass through. I’ve made up my mind.

“I wish for the death of ‘What if’, genie.” I spoke with the hot cave air making sweat pour down my face, “I want to always be certain of things.”

He smiled and said, “Yes, master.”

Ice water flowed through my veins and my body fell.


I open my eyes and expect that we are out of the cave, this genie and I. But my eyes focus in on something totally different. I squint at something piercingly white. “Is this another lamp?” Focus, focus…My eyes finally see, I am holding my vibrating phone as it demands that my rising time has come. I now see that I fell to the ground. I pick myself up and walk to my bathroom and rub my face in an effort to wake up faster. I comb my hair and throw it up into a ponytail. I brush my teeth and put on the clothes I had hanging on my closet door knob. I grab my keys and walk out.

I start my car and begin to drive. I pull out of my driveway and turn right then continue on. I’m stopped by an angry red light that seeks to outshine the always loved “green light”. I wait my turn and my time has come. I move my foot to the accelerator and push down. My car stalls and waits. As I push harder and harder on the peddle a semi-truck flies, tearing through my desired path.

I gasped and closed my eyes…waiting for impact.

Nothing. I open my eyes to see that the traffic light is still green. I exhale and I feel about 50 pounds lighter after I do. I push on the accelerator once more. The car moves. “Wow, that was close. What if…”

“What if…”

My time with the genie comes back to me fast and harsh like a bag of bricks being flung at me. “Wait,” I say out loud, “I wished for the death of ‘What if’,”

I continued on my way. I pulled into my usual parking space at work and lock my car with the remote as I close the door. I walk and I realize someone walking up alongside me. It’s Nate. He is new to my department but we talk often. He notices me and smiles, “Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” I reply, “I was almost in an accident. I guess I’m a bit shaken still.”

He walks nearer and embraces me, “Goodness, well I’m glad you are ok. If you need anything at all let me know.  I’m always here for you.”

His handsomeness nearly drowns out these kind words and so I nod, hoping that that is an appropriate response. We continue on and walk toward our offices together, mine is nearest and so I begin to turn into the doorway. I’m stopped by a gentle yet assertive hand that holds fast to my forearm.

“I’m really glad that you are ok. Just do something to take your mind off of it. How about lunch?” asked Nate

Taken back I smile and say, “Sure. I’d love to.”

“What if…”

My mind wanders. Yes, “What if” causes us to wonder and sometimes worry. But sometimes “What if” is a peck on the cheek from the future. “What if” is a promise from curiosity and a hint from happiness. “What if” keeps us hopeful, it keeps us guessing.

As I walk to my desk chair and turn around to sit down I catch a glimpse of Nate. He smiles so big and bright that I can clearly see it past the desks in the open area between our offices. He makes a childish gesture to symbolize eating. Then he looks at his watch and mouths, “Only three hours away.”

I blush. Maybe “What if” isn’t so bad after all…