Can you keep the secret of you, me, him?


What would happen if I told you something kind of personal?

What would happen if I told you that being around you is like putting on my old favorite sweater? I feel secure and warm but it only lasts until you leave. You seem like you are doing really well for yourself these days, and I am so happy for you. But I can’t help but wonder things. I mean I catch myself talking about you every now and then and it doesn’t make sense because I doubt you do the same.

I tried to give him a chance but you have ruined my tolerance for anything less than what I deserve. I know now more than ever that you treated me really great. You respected me and I never knew how rare that behavior was until he came along. Tall and smooth with words, I made myself give him a chance. As it turned out I literally couldn’t stand being with him because he was nothing like you. He talked about himself and treated my passions like hobbies. You, well you encouraged me in the things I love. I couldn’t joke around with him. For some reason I had walls up every time he was with me. Letting him in didn’t seem right, he didn’t earn that or deserve it. When it came to you, I felt like we could laugh over the dumbest stuff and still find time to get serious. Being myself around you wasn’t a struggle, I never felt like I needed to question your motives. I looked forward to breaking down those walls with you. It ended before we got very far. He only commented on my physical appearance, which you didn’t do much of, but I realized it didn’t matter because I hated compliments from him, I didn’t trust him like I trusted you. He thought I was a done deal for him but he still acted insecure about everything. You, you were confident in whatever it was we had. You never acted insecure and yet somehow you seemed shocked when I said I “liked you, liked you”. It was the cutest thing. I felt like I won that night. I won something I never expected. That made it that much sweeter.

Time passes and people move on. I suppose this is just my way of doing that. Or deciding how to do that. I’m not hung up but obviously I haven’t fully let go. I’m just afraid to fall either way. Can you keep the secret of you, me, him?