I just want to run. You make me want to forget but you beg me to remember. I want to clinch my jaw, tighten my fist and pound through these walls. I want to be away from here, please. You confuse me and I don’t want to put up with it anymore. Yes? No? Would you make up your mind? I’m lacing up my running shoes now. Stop me before I start. I tease you as I bend down to tie the first string, you laugh along and I think I hear you say, “Don’t do that,” but maybe it is all in my head. I loop the string and lay the other on top of it. Stop me, really. Running is the only way out of this. You smile and I remember that I shouldn’t have even put these running shoes on my feet. My feet belong here. Wait, wait, wait. You are changing your mind? Or is this how you’ve felt this whole time? Please, make a move. Do SOMETHING!No? Fine then, here we go. I tie the first shoe and move to the second. There may be murmuring in the background but I close my eyes tight and continue to tie. Both shoes are ready. They are tied in sad, yet secure knots. I’m running. Don’t try to stop me.
My knees bend and I lean forward, I’m going. My heart is yelling at my feet, “GO, GO!” but my feet remain here. Please, would you give a shove, I need to run but I cannot. I need you to do something. Either untie these shoes or push me forward. Your choice. But every moment you wait my heart sinks more and more.